Your sex life might be good, but aren’t there always a few things that could make it, well … better? Quick answer: YES.
do I know? Over a glass of wine (or several), I flat out asked my
friends if their sex life was everything they wanted it to be. I was
surprised to hear their answers weren’t about what their partners were
doing, they were about the things that they weren’t doing.
they unanimously agreed that their sex was swell, they also all agreed
they just wanted a little more of these nine things. Listen up, gents,
for the truth about what women want in bed?
1. Whisper in our ears.
we’re getting our sexy on, we obviously want to feel sexy and when you
whisper in our ear how sexy we are, it really gets us going. Tell us why
you enjoy being with us and I guarantee we’ll reciprocate your efforts.
2. Tell us WHY you think we’re beautiful.
girl wants to feel beautiful, duh. But it’s not just enough to tell us
that we are beautiful; us emotionally complicated creatures want
assurance as to why you believe this to be true. Yes, we love that you
think we have a “sexy ass” and “amazing tits,” but while you’re under
those sheets, we’d also like to be reminded of our beautiful smile and
our amazing eyes.
Every lady wants to be beautiful from head to
toe, not just boobs to ass. We want to be the women of your dreams, not
just the women of your fantasies.
3. Ask us what we like … and really mean it.
single girl I know has been with at least one guy who was going at it
while saying things like, “You like that? Oh yeah baby, you like that!”
Um, if you’re telling us that we like it, chances are you didn’t even
bother to ask us. So ask! And when you ask us, we want you to really ask
Don’t make the act of asking a rhetorical ego booster that
makes you feel like you’re “doing us right.” Ask if we like what you’re
doing because you really want to do us right, not because you’re
assuring yourself that you are. Trust us, ladies want to be having just
as much fun as you would like to think we are having, but we don’t all
like the same things so do yourself a favor and find out what gets us
4. More foreplay!
Most men I know can go from 0
to 60 in half a second but it takes women a lot longer. Sure, a quickie
is nice every once in a while, but why rush it?
We want and need
foreplay to get us ready for the grand finale. We know you’re excited
but give us a little time to get there as well. Not to mention that not
only does foreplay feel hella good, but knowing that you’re focused on
making our entire body tingle will make us want to return the favor.
5. We want less control. I mean more. I mean …
This one was a split decision when I questioned my friends. Half wanted their men to take charge and rough it up a bit.
so respectful of me that he’s almost afraid of using any force in the
bedroom but what I really want is for him to grab me and take control,”
said one of my friends.
I’m obviously not suggesting turning up
the roughness to full volume without your woman’s consent but you’d be
surprised how many of us enjoy playing a more passive role in the
bedroom and want nothing more than for you to run the show. That’s one
opinion. The other other half of my friends said they wanted their man
to back off a bit and let them take the reins.
“I feel like as a
woman I have a lot less control in the real world than a man does and
there’s nothing hotter than switching that up and being the one in
charge in the bedroom,” another friend said.
So for this one men, please refer to #3 and find out which side of this opinion your lady leans to.
6. Make sure we both finish.
seems SO obvious, except apparently it isn’t. If you’re going to cum
and then flop down beside us before we finish, we didn’t really need to
be there because they make blow-up dolls for that. This sex thing, it
takes (at least) two people so make sure both of those people reap the
rewards of their participation.
7. Change it up.
women, which means you’ll never completely understand us because we
constantly change our minds! One day we want romance and the next, we
want something else. So basically, in order for you to give us what we
want, you’re going to have to constantly change what you give us.
love rose petals on the bed and candles around the tub because we love
romance but we also love the thrill of being whisked away for
semi-public sex. Not only will the change-up in sex excite us, but it’ll
let us know that you’re interested in keeping things fresh.
8. Bring in reinforcements.
much as we like your man parts, sometimes they just don’t quite hit the
spot for us. In those cases, we want you to grab a few extra batteries
and a buzzing little toy to help us get to where we need to be.
frustrating as it might be for you to not be able to finish us off with
nothing more than your manhood, it’s even more frustrating for us to be
left unsatisfied. Just because we need a little more, doesn’t mean you
weren’t enough; it just means you’re man enough to do what it takes to
please your lady. Trust us, we applaud you for your efforts.
9. Read our body language.
we may want it rougher in some areas, there are a few areas – namely
the clitoris and the nipples – where we’d like it gentler.
Unfortunately, a lot of you dudes get so caught up in the moment that
you fail to decipher our “ooo’s” and “ah’s” from our “ah’s!” and
As my friends agree, we want you to be in tune with our
cues so that you know when to lighten it up a little bit. Good sex
starts with good communication, so be a great partner and listen to what
our body is telling you, especially if our body is flinching,
fidgeting, or jumping. Ouch!