It is never easy to admit that a guy is not serious about us,
especially if we are very much into him, but I learned the hard way that
it is better to spot someone who has no intention to be serious with me
sooner rather than later.
There could be many reasons why he is not serious about you and is
only looking to hook up. Maybe he has is mind elsewhere and he might be not ready for a relationship. It could also be that he does not want a relationship with YOU because you are not his type or he does not see you as worthy to be his girlfriend.
Whatever his reasons, the honest thing for him to do would be to tell
you how he really feels about you before you build up too many
expectations and you get too attached…but don’t count on all guys to be
that honest and learn how to spot the signs early enough and cut your
1. He does not go deep
A guy who is not serious about you will probably want to keep things
on a surface level. He will briefly asking you superficial questions but
he won’t be really curious about you or keen to get to know you on a
getting into deep conversation to really get to know each other is
too much investment for a short term relationship…so if this is the vibe
he is giving you…he is probably just wasting your time.
2. He does not want to call you girlfriend
If you feel like you do everything that implies you are in a
relationship but he still hasn’t called you girl friend or asked you to
be his one and only after 2-3 months ( give it a 2-3 months of wait and
see but not beyond).
A guy who really likes and is serious about you will usually make you
his girlfriend quickly because he would want to “secure” you and would
be afraid that you might be seeing other people.
3. He gives you too many “maybes”
If he is always vague about most things that imply a relationship or a
future, or you feel he avoids saying anything that would imply a
commitment on his part…he is too doubtful to be serious about you.
When a guy says things like “we’ll see, “I will let you know”, or “we
will see how things go” and avoids any form of verbal commitment even
for small things…he is probably not serious about you.
4. If he disappears when you need him
A guy who does not want to invest in you will suddenly be unavailable
if you need him for anything. That is because he never planned to
invest in you more than the bare minimum that it takes to have some of
your company, which is probably surface level investments like calling
He does not care about you enough to help you if you need anything or
if you are in trouble for anything, so he will come up with any excuse
not to be there for you if you need him.
5. He gives you too many booty calls
One booty call is already one too many if you ask me, but you could
tell that you are a booty call when someone always texts you when they
are bored or horny and ask to meet you after midnight in their place.
Look for patterns when you meet someone new before you start investing in them.
6. He doesn’t want you to meet his family
Most of us would think twice before introducing someone to our family
and friends because it is a significant step in the course of a
relationship and is usually considered a sign that things are getting
So anyone who is avoiding introducing you to their family after
you’ve been together for sometime is probably not serious about you.
7. He has no interest in meeting your family
Similarly, if someone has no interest whatsoever to meet your family
or is avoiding it is not serious about you and wants to save himself the
guilt and embarrassment of projecting anything serious to your family
when he knows deep down that he is not serious about you.
8. He is inconsistent
When a guy’s words don’t match his actions…That’s a big red flag that he is not serious about you.
He might be telling you all sorts of beautiful things, projecting
himself into the future with you and building up expectations for you
but if he does not follow up with concrete actions, he is probably just
Talk is cheap, it does not cost him anything. He is using it to keep
you around and have options, but he is probably not serious about you.
Concrete actions would be like going on vacation with you,
introducing you to his friends/family, taking you on real dates, trying
to really impress you.
9. He is not showing you on his Social media
I get that some guys are not big on social media, but if his social
media is full of his ex gf pictures ( which is does not want to remove)
yet he tells you he does not want to expose his relationship on Social
Media…He is probably a liar and is not serious about you.
10. He Doesn’t take you on traditional dates
Someone who is serious about you will court you and take you on traditional dates trust me.
Someone who isn’t will want to do just enough to keep you around,
which does not include traditional dates that cost money and time.
11. He does only night dates and they always end up back at his place
It’s funny how you always seem to end up back at his place after you when on a date hein?
Either he is super cheap, or more probably he is only interested in sleeping with you.
12. He sexualizes all conversations
This is is similar to the booty call. If A guy sexualizes all conversations…that’s probably all he is looking for.
again look out for patterns and don’t put your guards down when you meet someone new,